Electrum Non-Interview
from: Gino Foti to: Ben Sommer subject Re: Inquiry from Electrum.org
On Sun, February 21, 2010 5:11 pm, Ben Sommer wrote:
> Hi Gino – I run a podcast/blog at http://BandsLikeRush.com.
Rush??? Never heard of them… wait, is that the opening act for Lady Gaga?
Intrigued to hear more about ME? Cool! Well… my first memory is when I was just a fetus… I was stuck in this small apartment for about 9 months… next door neighbor was playing one of those heartbeat sound CDs at about 90 dB all fucking day & night! I couldn’t wait to get out of that hole…
I was born in Sicily, which as you may know is an island, and I have webbed feet, but I can’t swim. Pretty ironic, if you ask me. Let’s flash forward a bit: my first toy was a Teddy Bear – like a lot of babies – except mine was anatomically correct. I still have nightmares to this day!
But that’s enough for now, let’s save the rest for the real interview, shall we? Make sure to ask me about the time I met The Dalai Lama in a strip joint in Newark, New Jersey, ok? Nice guy. Bought me a lap dance. What was the name of that Asian chick again? I want to say “Jade”… wait… Jasmin?? No. Oh, well…
If you want to talk about the band, I should invite the other two knuckleheads into this, since we do everything as a tri-lateral commission. Which is why we haven’t recorded a composition in almost 10 years! Not that I’m bitter… ok, maybe a little. No wonder the downfall of the Roman Empire can be attributed to the start of the triumvirate system, hmmm?
So… how do you usually conduct these interviews – by phone? Through e-mail?? Do we have any control/input on the topics that will be covered? Do you like gladiator movies? But I digress…
You know what? It might be better if you do an interview with Dave, since he also has a solo CD in the same vein as Electrum; and although he’s by far the least talented member of the group, he’s a guitarist, like yourself, so you can both jerk off while you talk about pick sizes, bridge heights, and tremolo systems, or whatever the hell it is you guitarists do when there is nobody watching.
Oh, by the way, if this is a ruse to score free CDs, you would have done better by sending me an e-mail telling me that you are the widow of a Nigerian oil baron who left his fortune to me. I am happy to say that both our releases are Out Of Print!
And if you are the widow of a Nigerian oil baron, please send me some naked pictures of yourself, ok?
Ciao,
Gino Foti
Posted in Interviews | 2 Comments »
> Below is an example of the type of abuse
Well done! Playing the “victim card” right off the bat. I guess I should be thankful that you are not a “person of color”, or I would be a racist as well. Right, Ben?
I guess it’s my fault that you don’t enjoy and/or understand Juvenalian satire. A guy that interviews obscure indie bands that sound like a world-famous one did DECADES ago, and you expect to be taken seriously? My suggestion for your next website is: http://PoliticalPartiesLikeWhig.com
Maybe you can become the Horace Greeley of political podcasting.
> going fishing for an interview with defunct prog rock band
You are completely sure of yourself, and completely wrong! I suggest you read the parable of the ‘Blind men & the Elephant’.
If you had bothered with a cursory glance of the website, you would have realized that the band is on extended hiatus, due to other aspects of our lives constantly interfering with the project. It’s called due diligence, Ben, and it is an excellent substitute for “going fishing” for something.
> without knowing its defunct.
And your ignorance is also my fault, right? Just for shits and giggles, let’s say that the band really is defunct (it’s not), and all its personnel died in a tragic gardening accident, ok?
Now, whose fault is it that YOU couldn’t figure that out even after surfing through the website?
Whose fault is it that even after you tried to make contact with me several times, and you couldn’t read in, on, and/or between the lines of my reply, that you STILL wanted to do an interview with me??
Publishing a “non-interview”? LOL! Oh, did I get some sand in your vagina?
> the ex-band Electrum
That’s it, Ben. Keep hammering away at the wrong nail. Repeat the lie over and over! You have a bright future in politics, you know.
> insane, without boundaries and resentful of life.
LOL! You are so fucking clueless!! And weak… very weak, and I have given you much more of my time and attention that you deserve.
My last suggestion is that you call your doctor immediately and have your dosage of Zoloft increased to the highest levels possible of human tolerance… and maybe a few milligrams more, just to make sure.
I feel so sorry for your children.
Bands like Rush Limbaugh…